End of an Era, Moving on as P.U.N.K.

So here is my new post.  Sorry it’s been so long, but I have been through hell and back. Just to be real…I know that my life is headed to a bigger and brighter tomorrow, but today I am still far from there.

Now I want to take a sec to explain things here.  I caught heat for some of these posts.  People were offended and hurt.  The goal of this blog is to give the world an honest glimpse into the life of an aspiring artist.  Sometimes that meant telling some personal info.  I tried to protect identities by not giving full names or posting pics, it was the story that was important, not publicly embarrassing the people involved.  Those posts were hard as hell for me to write.  For one putting myself out there is not easy, and two, sometimes by the time my next post was ready to go up my anger had dissipated.  I posted it anyways because the words and feelings described were true to how I felt at the time, regardless of whether or not I had moved on.

Now I want to take a second to apologize to Lucy, Dwayne and anyone else I offended.  Not because I’m going soft (I will still take down anyone who deserves it), but because I found God.  God is in my life now (in addition to Cleveland hip hop of course), and if I am sincere about living his way, I must forgive.  To all my fans who read this hip hop blog I want to apologize.  Prophet is not invincible or perfect, just a human being who is just as susceptible to hurt as the next guy.  Yet, due to all my hardships I have become a stronger man.  I am focused, I am following my calling and I am finally going to step up to my responsibilities.  God, music, acting, martial arts, science are my life.

Dwayne, we are still cool fam, but I’ll be honest, what you wrote in your emails hurt.  Maybe that’s why we fought so bad. It’s always easy to hurt those that you are closest to.  I would never do anything to harm you.  Lucy, what you did was without a doubt cold and heartless.  You had no right to play me like that, but despite that fact, I still wish you happiness. Maybe you never loved me, but I know the right man is out there for you and I wish you much luck in finding him.  To all the ladies who burned me and I burned back (not in an STD way, I’m clean single ladies reading this), I apologize for my actions and hope we both learned from our mistakes.  One day I’ll meet the right woman and she will get all the love she deserves.  And last, to all those I hustled in the past, I’m sorry and I hope you move on from that lifestyle as well.  I learned something on my recent 25th birthday, I’m a grown ass man; it’s time I start acting like it.

This is the end of the Punk Revolution Blog in it’s current form.  I put my former life to rest and am moving on.  It is now time for not just a new chapter in my life but a whole new book.  Razer and I have a mission, to entertain and enlighten in a way not seen before.  We’ve created a hip hop duo that transcends the boundaries of music.  P.U.N.K. has begun. So God bless you all and watch out, history is being made as we speak. Peace.

NOTE: This blog will be migrating to a dedicated website soon.  You will see posts from both Razer and myself.  Don’t worry you will still see stuff from my life but these new posts will be more group orientated.  We will still infuse posts about our individual lives but it will be more of a collective effort then a blog about Prophet The Rebel.  You will be able to follow individual blog posts at our individual myspaces, Razer or Prophet.  In the meantime please start sending friend requests to our new groups myspace easily remembered as www.myspace.com/punkHD.   Please tell your friends and send us as many friend requests as possible so we can build our fan base.  Razer and I are headed into the studio this week so your wait shouldn’t be long.  In the meantime I recommend you learn a little bit about Razer by following him on Twitter @Razer_theRZR and/or through his wife’s blog, Clueless Newlywed.  I’m sure you will soon see why I think they are one of the most entertaining couples I have ever met.  Her blog is hilarious.)

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MIDWEST GLOOM: WILL IT EVER SHINE IN CLEVELAND?

Proph here with a lil pity party.  I was trying to keep optimistic this week…Really I was. But ya know that phrase, “When it rains, it pours?” In my case, it should be “When it rains, it’s a level 5 hurricane!” I’m serious. This week’s recording session went okay.  I say okay because as I started rapping, I realized I wasn’t feeling so hot.  First, it was just some pain in my throat, then I felt a little light headed and now, well now I feel like crap.  It’s hard to breathe let alone move, and I can’t afford nor do I have the time to go to the hospital. I bought some food before my work check was deposited into my account.  Needless to say, I over-drafted my account, and the bank won’t stop charging me late fees.  When I looked this morning, it was up to $400, and I don’t know what to do to get them to stop.

I pulled it together for my little sister’s Birthday dinner, but between the illness and the setbacks, I’ve gotta say that I am officially down and out.  I’m keeping up the optimistic facade to my boys, but the truth is I am a bit dead inside.  My history with women has been problematic to say the least.  Just a couple of weeks ago,  I was gonna to pledge my everlasting love to Sara, and looking back now, I don’t think she really understood how much I cared for her.  I would have put in the time and effort to make it work.  I would have been there for her if she gave me the chance.  But she shut me out.  Ya know what the last things she said to me was? “I don’t love you.” Then she said that I was just a good time. And I couldn’t expect her to stick around with a guy who has no car, no job, lives in a poverty-stricken apartment, and is chasing a dream of becoming the next big hip hop artist from Cleveland.  She said she needed a future, and I was just a fun stop along the ride.

Before our big date fiasco, I had kept some of the cash from my savings and bought her a ring. It wasn’t an engagement ring, a promise ring…actually, more like a ‘thank you’ ring.  I was going to give it to her before our first hip hop show as a way of saying thank you for sticking around.  Now instead of me giving it to her, I’ll be giving it to a pawn shop.  Maybe someone else out there will buy it and give it to someone who loves them, because that future just ain’t in the cards for me.  Sorry for the pity party, but it just ate me up today, and I needed to get it out.  The last straw was waking up to find my pet Iguana had died.  So I think I’ll rest, feel bad for my self for a little and then pick myself back up like I always do.

After all, this drama has to be good for one thing…song writing. Listening to Kid Cudi’s latest single, Day N’ Night, made me think about how life’s problems seep into the hip hop scene and turn into great music. After I heal up, I’ll just take all this hardship and put it into my hip hop, but for the time-being, this is one defeated Prophet signing off.

Happy Birthday

Proph the rebellious rebel here taking a break from chasing my midwest hip hop dreams to give a shout out to one of the few women in my life that has always been there for me.  My sis, my friend, Ppalonian.  I just wanted to tell her and the world how proud I am of her.  You took the road less traveled by those from our neighborhood and did the good thing, kept your head on right and stayed in school.  You may be my lil sis but you’re an inspiration to me.  All of Cleveland, or at least my blog and it’s readers, wish you a happy Birthday!  This is one hip hop punk who’s proud to have such a great sister.

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